Just when I think we've surely enjoyed the last of the clear, warm sunny weekends we get another one. Yesterday and today were warm enough that I spent a fair bit of time in the garden with my wool cardigan discarded in favour of only a tshirt. In fact this weekend's weather has been so lovely and my general commitments so light that it should have been a fairly idyllic two days but I had to go and louse it up today with addiction withdrawl. Specifically coffee withdrawl. You see in about two weeks I'm going to do a cleanse, one that I do every year or so that my naturopath guides and which I actually generally enjoy overall. I enjoy a few days of eating only broth and fresh juices, inspite of my usual love of food. And I often find that during the cleanse and for the time afterwards I get bursts of inspiration and energy quite unlike those I experience usually. In fact, the only part of the whole cleanse I dislike and I will admit actually down right fear is the giving up of coffee.
Now my sane mind tells me each time I do this that I really shouldn't start drinking coffee again after I finish the cleanse but it is usually the first thing I go back to. And, while I'm not proud of it, I'll admit I go back to it with intense joy. And then, cleanse time rolls around again and I face a good 24-48 hours of headaches, irritability, foggy-headedness and general malaise. I can in fact feel my whole body go through the withdrawl with the muscles in my neck and back tightening up and prodding me with a constant reminder that they would quiten down and relax if I would just give them one neat espresso. Perhaps two.
I'm not sure what I'll do this time. I'm nearly one day into the icky part and should be feeling loads better by tomorrow. I find myself thinking that I could not possibly go through this kind of withdrawl again and so should perhaps give it up for good. But then even images of a good coffee, like this one here from Amsterdam, or the sight of my gorgeous little espresso pot from Rome make me think that I can't let it out of my life just yet.